You must first water your own garden before harvesting seeds to plant in the gardens of others.

By now we’ve all heard the phrase treat yo self and have likely partaken in a soothing bath bomb soak, a brightening face mask, or eating a good ole pint of ice cream. All of these things help us to feel a little better on those not so sunny days. What  happens, though, when we feel unworthy of love and self care?

The people around us, especially the ones we care about most, are affected. Our vibe, essentially the moods and feelings we project into the world, help to shape our reality. When we feel like we don’t deserve that little bit of extra love, our reality becomes so. Our foundation for love and growth starts within us, so when we have created a reality for ourselves where we feel undeserving of love and special treatment, those around us will begin to act accordingly.

In order to build strong, meaningful relationships with others, we must first harbor love for ourselves. I know that this isn’t easy－it can take years, actually. It’s so easy to be our own worst critics.

When I was younger, I was incredibly self conscious about a speaking impediment. I would go out of my way to avoid words with the letter s in them, so as to not make my lisp evident to others. By not learning to love myself, lisp and all, I opened the door for other kids to make fun of me and took it very personally. Hurt feelings are not a solid foundation for a  friendship or any other type of relationship. As I became older, I grew into loving myself and the qualities that make me unique. I opened my heart to myself and determined that I was worthy of love and respect.

If your heart isn’t open enough to allow you to take care of yourself, how can you expect to give to those around you?

We must first feel gratitude and love for ourselves before we can cultivate compassion and care for others. Treating yourself to something like your favorite meal or a nice walk in the sunshine allows for the self growth that is necessary to spread love into the Universe.

What are some of your favorite ways to treat yourself?