Does _______ resonate with you? 

This is the single most important question that you can ask yourself. This question can help to shape your personal life, like relationships and hobbies, your self-growth, your work, and all other aspects in your life. We often overcomplicate things in our minds by stockpiling justifications for the things that we do. I’m here to tell you to stop justifying things to yourself or others and to replace those justifications with the direct question: does it (whatever it is) resonate with you?

If the answer is yes, then that’s great. You have found something that feels of significance to you, which is a great feat. Our own self doubt and criticism can try to take these things away from us, but once we ask if something really resonates with us and the answer is yes, we are provided with a deeper sense of clarity about the purpose that thing serves in our lives. If, on the other hand, the answer is no, we are given the foundation to begin to move away from whatever that thing is and toward a more purposeful and meaningful life. 

Does watching reality TV or playing The Sims/Animal Crossing/ you insert another game here resonate with you? I want you to really think about the deeper purpose of whatever it is you are doing. Maybe watching reality TV throughout the week allows you time to stop stressing about your current situation or provides comic relief. This is not to say that everything we do will have some underlying reason. Simply enjoying something can be reason enough, don’t overthink it. I think it’s safe to assume, though, that most of what we find ourselves doing daily has some sort of deeper purpose, no matter how superficial. Once you ask yourself this question though, you may find that something isn’t as important to you as you may have previously perceived it to be. This realization can help us to take a new direction that might have been overlooked beforehand or that we might have been avoiding. By asking yourself what resonates with you, you are asking yourself to get really real with yourself. Be clear and honest in your answers with yourself. This new clarity can help diminish negative self-talk and the feeling that we “aren’t doing enough”. 

Here’s a personal example: I love watching recipe videos on YouTube. Do I make every single recipe that I watch a video for? No. Have I made half of the recipes I’ve watched videos for? Probably not. Does watching recipe videos on YouTube resonate with me? Yes, and here’s why: I love cooking and trying new recipes in my kitchen. Watching recipe videos online inspires me to cook more for myself and try new recipes and cooking styles. 

I want you to forget about what you think you should be doing, what everyone else seems to be doing, and really focus on what it is that you enjoy doing. Once you have figured this out, it becomes easier to live a more purposeful life and to break free from cycles of guilt that perpetuate our society. 

What resonates with you?